November 17, 2010

• I’m Sorry I Keep Saying I’m Sorry

  I tend to apologize for most of what I do.
  People come to my house, I apologize for the bathroom that is half torn up, waiting for a remodel or the fact that if they look for dirt, they will find it.
  I did an experiment once when a babysitter was coming over. I thought I would try to not explain or apologize for ANYTHING in my house. It didn’t work.
  
  I apologize for being 30 seconds late.
  
  In not so many words, I apologize for the the decisions I make concerning my kids.
  I tend to be paranoid about offending someone with my personal beliefs or opinions.
  I’ve even found myself complaining about things that are basically  non existent in my or my family’s life just to be relatable or to avoid giving the impression that I have no problems.
  
  Crazy. I know.
  
  So I’m stopping. And this post is putting this new found commitment to not apologize to practice. maybe.
  
  I love the school we have Jake in.
  Love it.
  It’s a University Model School and they attend class in a traditional manner two or three days a week and then complete assignments at home the other days.
  
  I do not pretend to know what is best for anybody else’s kids nor do I know even how we will be doing school in five years.
  (THERE I GO AGAIN….EXPLAINING THINGS!!!) arrggghhhhh.
  
  However, I do know that I absolutely can not/will not entrust my child’s education to anyone else. That doesn’t mean I will never have them in public or full time private school but it does mean that I believe it is my responsibility to see that my kids learn the things that I value.
  
  The days I have Jake at home have nearly brought me to tears on more than one occasion and for more than one reason.
  
  Teaching your child anything exposes all kinds of lovely charater flaws….in you AND them. I am more concerned with my own since I am modeling for my little adults in training. I’ve apologized more than once for impatience. I am thankful-as strange as that sounds-for those ugly things being exposed because it means I have an  opportunity to deal with heart issues.
  
  I’ve gotten chill bumps reading history with him, being reminded of God’s hand in our country’s formation. The stories of Godly men who put it all on the line to become one nation under God are invaluable accounts our kid’s cannot afford to miss.
  
  “I have lived a long time, and the longer I live the more convincing proofs I see of this truth: that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?”-Benjamin Franklin
  
  History should be more than just memorizing facts. It’s about lessons from people who have lived before us, the laws of sowing and reaping, and understanding that pushing through when things aren’t easy is the only way to meet real success. It’s a little thing called character.
  
  Jake brings home textbooks. I know what he is learning. He’s reading quality novels that reaffirm things I want him to learn.
  I’ll never understand new titles like, “Diary of a Wimpy Kid or “Stinky Stinky Diaper Change”.
  I’m all for humor and a good fiction book and my son read the Stinky poem in second grade. (He thought it was hilarious, btw)
   But when I back up and just think about those titles…..yes, it just bugs me.
  
  (I’m really resisting the urge to tell you it’s okay if you love those books. because it is.)
  See?!! I can’t do it! Can’t go a whole post without making sure you feel good!!
  
  I love having TIME with him. I’m helping shape the man he will become which is terrifying and nerve racking but giving him as much of a foundation as I possibly can is never a mistake.

  One of the awesome things about being a Christian is knowing that “The mind of man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps”.

  I believe God is grooming our kids for different callings and purposes. That means our walks won’t all look alike. There’s a reason for that. We are all individuals, who need different environments and experiences to shape who we become.

  The key is to listen to the desires and promptings he puts on your heart with regards to your children and how you rear them.

  My heart is HIS, therefore, what’s there MATTERS.
   
  Don’t ignore those little nudges whether they seem strange, counter culture, unpopular, or mundanely normal. We are responsible to help steer their little hearts and sometimes that may mean we swim up stream.

  We’re supposed to be different, remember?
   
  Run your race.

  

  ~stacey
  
  

  • 9:32 am
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