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| Life seems to get busier and busier around here. I'm not entirely complaining but most of the time a slower pace suits me just fine. I know there are seasons and stages of life, the ebb and flow, I just don't want the busy, hectic, and stressful to take a minute away from the fun of life.
The kids are still little, but I already sense we're just starting to enter a new, more complicated part of this journey. A wise lady once told me that when your babies are small it's very hard physically but so very simple when compared to parenting older children. There are the emotional stresses of how they are being shaped, their self-esteem, their decisions, their hormones, the attitudes, their coming independence, and their spiritual well-being. (Just to name a few!) In just a few conversations with my almost eight year old, I miss the simplicity of the toddler. That being said, I wouldn't trade where I am now....I love hearing his little thought processes and the opportunities I have to attempt to connect with his heart. I'm praying for strong characters to be developed in all the children, that they would know who they really are and why they are valuable.
More than that, I feel the need to find strength for myself as I parent. To resist worry, fear, and the tendency to over analyze the details, as I so easily do. 
I constantly find myself stuck in the middle of two different though processes:
1. You can only do so much with your kids. They're going to make their own choices, so do the best you can and hang on for the ride. They'll probably turn out just fine.
2. Spend every waking moment thinking about, planning, and doing things that train, teach, and train some more. If you, the parent, do it well, your kids will most definitely not waver. So, work, work, work!
Both scenarios leave me a little stressed out and I know the key is probably a combination of the two. I think it's time tweak our strategy as we enter phase 2 of parenting school age kids. We may end up years down the road deciding we had the wrong plan but we at least have to have one! I know where to go for answers but I also know God gives us PEOPLE to encourage and share the wisdom they've received.
So, how 'bout it?! Any insight from you Mothers who have done this a little longer than I? Any parenting books I can't go without reading?
Here are a few shots of our recent getaway.
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| We were nothing but a party last Saturday. Someone asked me how old I was to which I responded, "I'm that scary age when, if you're pregnant, they want to do extra tests on the baby!" To the tests, I say, "Thanks but no thanks" and to the birthday wishes I say, "Turning one year older beats the alternative!" Every day is an absolute gift so turning 35  is a privilege.
AND! Four years ago on my birthday, we celebrated another birth day....Avery Elizabeth was born. Without digging out her baby book, I can't remember what time it was or how long she was, but I remember the unique style she arrived in.
I had been at the hospital a number of hours, maybe half the day. The sweet 70 something nurse had just checked me and told me I was just about a ten and that she was going to start getting things ready. She preceded to happily open all the sterile instruments at a reasonable, relaxed pace. I lay there and thought to myself, I kind of think this baby is moving south and that nurse better pick up the pace. Not wanting to over react, I waited a couple more seconds and tried to sound casual as I said, "You might want to check me again. Like now." She paused, like, "Okay sweetie, I'll be there in a sec." I turned to Brad and gave him that look like I mean N.O.W. He took a quick gander under the sheet, went a little pale and his eyes got as big as half dollars. He was staring at the head of our third child. The nurse had walked over by this point and immediately got panicky. Brad, (M.D. Brad, let me remind you) looked at her and asked, "What do I do?!" She was to busy fumbling for the phone to call my obstetrician to even hear the question, so I, completely astounded at this entire scenario replied, "YOU CATCH HER!" A half a second later, Brooke, the resident on call who also happens to be an angel, ran in the room just in time to reach out and grab our precious Ave as she made her debut on her mother's birthday.
To this day, she's a little spit fire. Full of expression. All or nothing. She's either really happy or really not happy. There's no guessing with her! The other day, she and big sister were given a task of cleaning up a certain room. I explained that Reese was in charge and would help her know where to put things. True to form, Avery looked at me, put her hands on her hips and said, "When I get big, I am going to be in charge of EVERYTHING!!!" Alrighty then.
  ~Who needs cake when there's icing?~   ~ First cousins. Born three days a part. ~ Happy October!
~Stacey
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| I don't think it's possible to completely put yourself in a position other than the one you are currently in. I guess if you've walked through an exact experience then you can truly say, "I know how you feel".
A couple days ago, friends from medical school lost their 2 year old twin boys. These sweet people tried for years before being able to conceive and deliver a baby. Asa and Elijah were born at 26 weeks gestation. I remember reading their family blog as they made frequent posts about the ups and downs that come with premature births. I thought it was so miraculous when I read that they were taking them home. Two little miracles...
And now they're gone. Their passing was the result of a freak, bizarre accident that you can't explain, understand, or make sense of. These parents are forever changed.
As I've been mulling over this in the last week, so many things have run through my mind.
First, I can't begin to imagine the pain. The emptiness. Devastating.
I can, however, imagine the power and grace of my God. I shudder to think of the horrid emotions a parent experiences after such trauma, but I know enough of God's character to know he's not afraid of our emotions. He can handle it.
A couple days ago, I was in the car, praying under my breath. Praying for comfort for this family. I felt dissatisfied in my prayer. Comfort is of course relevant but it wasn't enough. I kept having this sense that something more was needed. Something critical. Then guess Who spoke to my heart?. Sitting here, typing this, tears well up because I am so amazed that I serve a God who actually speaks to me. I'm not worthy in my flesh of that privilege but still, He does.
This I know: When He speaks, it changes things. His voice is that life raft in the middle of the turmoil. And let's face it, if it's a really dark time, that's ALL that gets you through.
So, I began to ask God to not be silent. For this mother, in particular, whose every moment has been 100 % consumed by her children, to hear a voice that gives her a tiny glimmer of hope. Hope in the TRUTH that God has a PURPOSE for her even still. Motherhood is a purpose in and of itself and I think if you don't see it that way, it's exhausting and could at times, seem insignificant. However, mothering is not all mothers are about. As long as we have breath, He has a reason for our being. She needs to know this and a person telling her won't cut it. She needs to hear it from a place of omniscience. Your purpose gets you out of bed. And bless her heart, humanly speaking, that simple task would seem unbearable after such a loss.
So, sometime this weekend, please say a prayer on behalf of this couple. It's a heavy burden to bear and I hate for anyone to experience such devastation.
Hug your children extra hard tonight. Don't feel guilty for a good day. Thank Him for it. Rejoice in the fact that He is faithful. That He promises grace. And that He doesn't break His promises.
Don't let the small stuff entangle you. Work hard to not let the little things steal even a moment of your life.
 Stacey
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